• Carrie

Dealing with Judgment

People judge you a ton whenever you have a mental illness. Hell, people judge you even if you don't have a mental illness. Personally, I know that during different shifts from my extreme highs to my extreme lows I have embarrassed myself in front of people. I know I've definitely been judged. I cannot get back those times when I straight out acted crazy. It makes me sad that some people, friends and strangers, only know that version of me...the crazy one. Even though being bipolar or having a panic disorder is more accepted nowadays, there are still plenty of things I know I face every single day. I wonder if I'm alone?

First off, some people think that being bipolar is a myth. Straight out of the gate, you have people who believe mental illness is by choice and that everybody deals with hard times and tough emotions. Well, I agree that everybody deals with hard times and difficult emotions, but having a mental illness is drastically different. There were times, before being properly medicated and having appropriate therapy, that the things I naturally thought and did had incredibly negative and sometimes even dangerous repercussions. I had no concept of what communication with others was supposed to be and had a terrible time keeping the manic, anxiety ridden, overactive, fast talking, annoying self under control. If I wasn't talking your head off or driving you crazy with my overall manic energy, I was making you sick with how depressed I was. It would be like dealing with Eeyore in real life. The shifts were so drastic that of course people didn't understand. I'm sure I was judged by people around me...loved, but judged.

Second, people judge your med list. This really upsets me for some reason, I know the meds help me and my life is much more difficult without them, but handing the med list to a doctor's office is often scrutinizing. I had a doctor tell me just the other day, looking at my med list, she sighed and said, "Wow, that's a hefty med list. Do you take all of these?". I do...and my quality of life is tremendously better. I have other health issues so yes, my med list is long...I know. I hate when people point out obvious things as though they're making some grand point. Don't be embarrassed if you have to take a lot of medicine. I've heard, "Wow, you're too young for all this", "All this medication is probably why you have so many problems to begin with", and "There is no reason for all of these". I've also endured multiple opinions I never asked for and irritated attitudes trying to check to see if I am still taking certain meds. I ignore it, and so should you. If something helps you, screw what other people think.

People will always judge you for the things you do, no matter who you are or what you do. This is a hard concept to accept sometimes because it seems really unfair. I could go on for ages talking about the things I'm judged for due to my mental illness...including being looked at funny when I explain to someone that I'm triggered by something. Ignore people who are judging you, he without sin may cast the first stone right? Well nobody I know is without em.

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