• Carrie

Stop Feeling Sorry for Yourself

I understand that this title may seem a little harsh, but as I have gotten older, I have realized that not feeling sorry for myself is an important part of the healing process. The more self-pity I feel the more I am telling myself that I am the only one that feels the way I do, that nobody understands me, and simultaneously isolating myself beyond belief. I know that it is very hard to not feel like taking a minute, a day, a few years even to loathe in self-pity. But the more I have done this, the more I have not gotten anywhere.

It may seem like our personal tragedies, traumas, or experiences are in the outside realm of what anybody understands. However, the truth is, you would probably be shocked at how many people not only understand your feelings, but have survived exponentially worse situations. As I have delved into the mental health world, met a plethora of people with mental illness, I have noticed one thing...people are constantly asking if anyone feels these abnormal feelings without the knowledge that so many people do.

This being said, the trauma we experience is very real, personal and shocking to us. The pain is very real, the level of impact tragedy/trauma affects us is real, and I not trying to belittle anyone's personal struggles. But I find comfort in knowing that I am not alone in my pain and heartache. I feel power in taking back my strength to embrace my connection with all of those who can relate with me. I have been shocked to find out that mental illness is really an integral part of the human experience. There may be a ton of people that do not empathize with us about any symptom of mental illness...but there are way more people out there that can say, "Yes, I have felt that too. Here are some things I do to make myself feel better, you should try it" or "Yes I can relate, how do you cope with it? Maybe we can figure out a solution together".

It is easy to feel self-pity. It is easy to feel jealous of those who do not have to battle their own minds every day of their lives. But essentially, we have a tribe that is weird, unique, crazy, scared, and mostly desperate for connection and understanding. So try to not feel sorry for yourself. There are people out their who are suffering just like you or maybe even worse. Focus on how to feel better, not what makes you feel worse. It's possible, I'm not perfect and can't practice this every and all day, but I do try. I implore you to try too.

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